Last time I complained about getting old and dusty. As promised this time I will tell you the dirty little secrets only those who are … middle aged know.

1. You can do anything at a store and get away with it!
Ever want to go into a toy store and just play with all the toys? You can! The manager will still zip round the corner and have that lemon sucking look on his/her face, but it gets swallowed when they see you in all your old lady glory. I could be shopping for a grandchild. Here’s the fun part, play like mad, and NEVER buy anything on that visit.

2. Book stores are you library.
No one has the nuts to tell someone who is older they can’t look through the magazines or books. While teaching at a local college, I instructed my students to use B&N as the source of their information for papers to get the latest information available. I had only 2 students who were not asked to leave B&N. Those 2 were “non-traditional” – that means old. So when you are old, you can read and photograph recipes and do what ever at book stores.

3. Senior discounts add up.
I ask for a senior discount everywhere. I don’t volunteer my age. I have noticed if you ask, they will give. Somethings are free. Somethings are reduced. Either way, it means more money in my purse. More money means I can do more stuff I enjoy.

4. The schedule is wonderful!
A typical day for me is my 4 year old dream day. I get up when I want to. I eat breakfast around 10 a.m.. I go for an hour long walk. I work around the house with the TV or stereo on. I knit or paint or do whatever I want after the house meets my standards of clean. Around 2 I get tired, so I take a nap. When I wake-up I want dinner. Yes, this could be 4 p.m.. Do you know why old people eat dinner so early? Because we can!!! I play on the phone or computer for a while, then relax with some late night TV. I’m up late because I had a nap. I have dessert or fika if you are Swedish. I get sleepy, so I go to bed.

5. The shoes are comfortable.
Best of all, you wear what you want. Ever notice old women wear flats? They feel good. I can wear a silk wind suit with some sequins and bling on it, pair it with ballet flats or even Keds, and I call it an “outfit”. I can go anywhere except a formal occasion in my “outfit” and feel good. Show up in a wind suit and flats anywhere when you are 20 – 40, and it will not go well. Hit that magic line of 50, and you are styling’!

I do not understand bitter old people! I am old enough to drink, my clothes feel good, I get better prices just because I’m not dead, I can open boxes and just look inside, I can run roughshod through almost any store, and add that cherry on top of a nap … being older is really nice. If I had known it would be this good, I would have lied in the other direction about my age! Seems I had it about right when I was 16 getting my fake ID, not at 29 when I was swearing I was 24!

Well, back to real-life for me. That means doing what I want! Knitting will be what I do this evening.

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